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 NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P

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Cyrus
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PostSubject: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:20 pm

I started righting this 'cause I got bored. It needs a name and really... the story line isn't really going anywhere... I'm still trying to think what it should be about. XD for now, it shall be... NAMELESS!

Toby sat at the rotting desk in the back of the room. Mr Lawsen walked in with the daily telegraph newspaper under his sweaty arm. Whispers came from all corners of the class room. Laura walked over to the desk next to Toby's and sat down, feet up on the desk, arms on the back of the chairs, as she rocked on her own chair. Mr Lawsen stood in front of the class and addressed it as usual.
"Good morning class." He would say, and the class would always reply with the simple, 'good morning.' Though, Toby was new to this class and did not say a single word when the class did.
Mr Lawsen coughed and Toby swore he sore his lungs jump out if his mouth as he did. He shook away that thought and pulled out his english and math books. Just as he went to grab a pencil, a sudden pain ran up through his finger. He yelled out in pain and grasped at his hand.
"Oh, sorry sweetie. Mr L wants our tables to be set in groups you know." Laura said. Her soft british accent calmed Toby, unsure how that did though, he smiled and said, hold out his left hand, "I'm Toby." Laura exchanged the hand shake for a smile instead and turned back to her desk.
Toby's hand went cold as he had left it there for someone to shake it. He placed it down on the table and looked at his right hand. Red marks swelled into the tips of his index, middle and ring finger. He covered his hand with his other then released it.
"Toby." Mr Lawsen said. Toby immediately looked up from his desk.
"Ahh, Toby. New student." Mr Lawsen said, as he polished his glasses, "Why don't you come up here and tell us about yourself?"
Toby went to shake his head, but something was holding him back from doing that. He took in a breath and stood up from his chair and then proceeded to the front of the classroom.


Last edited by Cyrus on Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:32 am; edited 1 time in total
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Talaye

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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:19 pm

All of my suggestions involve animals or fantasy kinda ideas...I don't suppose you're into that kind of writing are you? Like he makes friends with a stray dog, leaves school and goes to pick out his first dragon egg, makes friends with a wolf while hiking. I know I'm weird xD
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:24 am

lol nice story so far Cy.....but I would suggest having him date Laura and something happens with his dog....
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Jeana
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:08 am

lol Tala. Micky writes random things that pop into his head. when he first came to Australia, in class we had to write a story and he wrote something about a dragon and a duck... and tofu.

Micky, why do you write stories that you never finish.... and you DONT read books!
(last book he read was a instruction booklet for his scooter parts... thats about all i've ever seen him read)
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 5:45 am

oohhh, this has possibilities xD a simple start, I like it, watch your wording though, I kinda got confused who you were talking about at the beginning when you switched from Toby to Laura. What are you planning the pain in his fingers being? Sounds to me like he's going to be a super hero or something but doesn't know it yet, but with the covering of the red marks, maybe he does know and is trying to hide it. That would make him distant to others so they don't get too close to his secret, even if he falls for Laura he has to let her go. Oh! Maybe then she could fall for a bad guy when Toby rejects her and he has to save her! But it hurts him to be close to her, knowing he can't have a relationship with her.

Okay....I have to stop myself now xD Otherwise I'm going to go on and on until I write the story myself xD I hope my ideas helped xD
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:28 am

Lol Angel, all ur idea r making me want to write the story myself too xD
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Cyrus
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:31 am

lol thanks Angel. Good idea.

Shut up jean... I have other things to do beside writing... this is just what I do when I'm bored. :p
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:40 am

lol xD let me know if you need any more ideas Smile I'm chocka block xD
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:31 am

Chocka block? xD
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:31 am

havn't heard of that phrase b4? we kiwi's use it a lot xD
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:38 am

Nope, never heard of it of it before. And, who's a kiwi? xD
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Jeger
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:40 am

Haha the english use that phrase aswell my friend
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Talaye

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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:50 am

Chocka block?? Never head that one before either o_O
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:56 am

C living proof xD
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Zero
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 7:56 am

oh my glob...!
the name toby is reminding me of meh puppeh that i have at my auntie's..! xD -huggles toby to death-

& interesting start young purple jeans one. it seems a lil something something could be going later build on with toby & laura eh? -wink wink- & not that kind wink wink ya nasty people!! D<
anywhos darn angs beat me to the punch & basically said most of what i was going to say t be helpful -shakes fist to sky for ze unfairness of it all-
but as far as the title goes, cant really tell what it may be about but maybe if you continu it my ninja mind may come up with soemthing to help ya out there or such.
p.s. keep writing or else a rainbow maned unicorn will come to your room at night & wear your purple pants.... e_e

remember! that's only if you do not write more >D
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 8:15 am

Nice Zero xD
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:03 pm

Well if you do make Toby a super hero, Nameless might actually be a fitting title. I like it, sounds mysterious, could be anything kinda name. And it would fit if you make him a superhero but no one gives him a name, therefore the hero is nameless xD
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Jeana
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:42 am

XD lol angel...
Zero, your creeping me out... why would a unicorn wear Micky's purple jeans? they have his germs on them. XD

lol, my uncle says choka block to much...
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Zero
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:11 pm

oopsy my bad...



it was a rainbow mained NINJA unicorn WITH RAINBOW WINGS... >P
& 'coooos jeany, the ninja unicorn will wear them to start dancing to 'party anthem' & to shuffle epically with skills while making cyrus suffer as his skinnys stretch out since ze uni be a bit fat >D

& angs got a point,-ish wondering if it will be a supehero one-
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:53 pm

I like the name nameless xD it's makes you think before you start reading xD
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:28 pm

ya it does
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Cyrus
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:09 pm

ok, you guys are just a little creepy now... eh, I'll continue my story anyways.

Mr Lawsen placed a hand on Toby's shoulder, "Well, why don't you start by saying where you came from?"
Toby looked around the class room and took a deep breath, "Well, I came from New Zealand and um, my Dad is in the army."
The class, which was hardly paying attention before, looked up as soon as he said army. Mr Lawsen's eyes widened aswell, "So your dad does what in the army?"
Toby looked at Mr Lawsen, who happened to be nearly the same height as him, then looked at the class that now seemed to be paying attention. All except Murry, who is known as the class hotty. Toby proceeded telling the class about his dad, "He looks for mines." He said, then the class suddenly lost interest in Toby when they found out his dad just looks for mines. It is a pretty boring job... except for when you find a mine or something lands on one and the whole place blows up. Toby had to think of something else to make the class interested. He thought of other spots in the army that you can take up.

continue... soon...
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Angel
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:19 pm

ooohhh xD am liking where this is heading xD kinda reminds me of how Stormbraker starts
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Cyrus
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:29 pm

rrrright, and i know what stormbreaker is... -refreshes memory- erm, i'll be right back -goes to google-
Yup, totally. 0.0
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Ghuna
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PostSubject: Re: NAMELESS By Cyrus... Need help with it. :P   Sun Jan 29, 2012 6:14 pm

Cool, i guess
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